Admittedly, I’m a recovering stage 5 clinger!
Okay you’ve probably seen Wedding Crashers, with Vince Vaughn (hilarious!), but I’m not referring to dating here.
In general, I used to be the hold-on-tight-never-let-go kind of gal. Always, always, ALWAYS trying to fix, mend or change something that was completely out of my control. If I only tried harder, worked smarter or sacrificed more, I could make it perfect!! I had to be left with no other option, before I would release something and move on. I fatigued myself physically, emotionally, mentally and energetically.
Does any of this sound familiar?
This is not to say that strong will, persistence and commitment are not admirable qualities to possess. Quite the contrary. However, I had to re-evaluate what was serving me, and what was not, in order to align my strong will and tenacity with my truest desires. This doesn’t mean you have to actually know your true desires (they are often unveiled over time) in order to start aligning with them. When you de-cling from negative or low energy draining thoughts, events, or situations, you are naturally aligning with your higher-level way of thinking and being.
In my own case, I used to cling to situations harboring a ‘go down with the ship‘ type of mentality. I never stopped to ponder whether the ship I was sailing would will lead me to new uncharted self-discoveries, or simply leave me lost at sea. I just focused on navigating the ship I happen to be on, and come hell or high water, I would not sink it!
One surefire way to gauge if it’s time to jump ship is by bringing your awareness to your own intuition, and how you feel. For example, maybe you have noticed how you can plug away at something all day long if it inspires you, and still feel energized at the end of the day. Or you can engage in a project, relationship, event or situation for only a few moments, and it may seem to drain the life out of you! Being aware of the subtle energy shifts and feelings that underlie the core of every exchange, event, action and circumstance, allows you to gently shift your intentional focus to something that aligns with a higher path.
De-clinging is the process of letting go.
Letting go has shaped up to be my living mantra for the last couple years, more intensely the last six months. For myself, it’s been a very long, challenging process.
Letting go can often seem scary and difficult. This is because in order to let go we must give up the need to control, and this triggers a security breach in our animal brain and challenges our ego, at least until we are more comfortable and mindful with the process.
Also, in order to let go we have to be come to a state of acceptance, without feeling the need to change, fix, control or mend it. This is where the rubber really hits the road! When we are in a state of true acceptance of a situation and we are no longer judging it or trying to navigate its destination, we are left with our choice. We can either continue what we were doing and get the same result, or choose something new, unfamiliar and different. Yikes!
The good news is with practice, letting go becomes easier. The first step is being able to recognize when you are in clinger status. At this moment of recognition, you are in the present moment. This powerful moment (before your left brain starts to over-analyze) is when you can assess your feelings and discern whether what, who, or where you are focusing your attention is serving you (or not), allowing you to then take inspired action.
Letting go is not giving up or failing.
I remember when my first start-up business out of college ‘failed’. I put everything into building it-blood, sweat and tears, I sacrificed a lot! Then literally overnight, when the real estate crash hit, it started to tank. I hung on for dear life, trying every last angle I could think of to re-build it or save it, so it (or I rather) was not a ‘failure’. Looking back now I see that the business needed to come to an end, and I needed to move on. My clinging to it only made the transition longer, more costly, and energy draining. The Universe had bigger things in store for me, and in hindsight, that business would have never been fulfilling for me anyway. BUT, it served it’s purpose and I am grateful for the experience. In the grander scheme of my life story, it was a huge success by failing! I use the experiences I’ve gained from building that business and apply it daily now to something I’m passionate about, and that gives my life greater meaning.
Letting go of something is not the equivalent of quitting, being weak, giving up or failing (Tweet Worthy!) Letting go is actually the ability to harness your intuitive wisdom, courage and heart’s desire for something better. Letting go means you trust your Self, and your destiny, even if you have no idea what that is yet (Tweet Worthy!)