Do you measure your self-worth by how well you fit into your skinny jeans?
As a woman, I know how self-critical we tend to be about ourselves, especially about our bodies and physical appearance. For over three decades I identified with an outward physical expression of myself that left a void and real disconnect. This disconnect was a thin veil that kept me separated from my true nature, searching for external forms of reassurance to fuel my worthiness. Even when I did receive that external validation in the form of compliments, I was never able to receive them comfortably and graciously because the need for them stemmed from a place of unworthiness, to begin with, how ridiculous does this sound?!
As humans, we tend to seek validation and self-worth in others’ approval, or by prestigious awards, fancy cars, a large bank balance, the size of our house, outward beauty, or whatever… And in doing so we beat ourselves up, pushing-trying-doing-making-achieving (modern society conditioning) and then we judge ourselves when we don’t measure up! It’s a vicious cycle that will never end because our focus is placed anywhere and everywhere else but within ourselves. We care way too much about what others think, and far too little about our own happiness and contentment. Basically, our self-love is conditional.
For any chance at real freedom you must not care what others think! (Tweet Worthy) You must learn to focus only on how you feel!
What other people think of me is none of my business. -Wayne Dyer
Take the self-love mirror challenge
We can be our biggest cheerleaders or our worst critics. Nitpicking, doubting, or being super self-critical, while failing to recognize or appreciate everything we already have. In the past, every time I looked in the mirror I zeroed in on what wasn’t “perfect”, what was “wrong” or “needed fixing”. I was afflicted with “my butt’s too big” syndrome! I saved old jeans I wore ten years earlier just waiting for the day I could squeeze into them again. Promising myself I would lose those extra pounds, and then, only THEN I would allow myself to be happy!
Needless to say, I spent many years sucking in, zipping up, and pretending I was comfortable when I really wasn’t. Even when I was my ideal weight for that week, month, or six-month period, my ongoing obsession would then be to maintain it, which meant I NEVER even enjoyed the fact that I already was at my ideal body size and weight.
A shift happened inside me in October 2013. I decided I was going to use every opportunity to tell the person staring back at me how much I loved her healthy, strong, vibrant, and beautiful body. Every time I passed a mirror, tried on a pair of jeans, caught my crazy mind comparing myself to another, or worse yet, a magazine cover…I consciously reverted back to self-loving thoughts.
Can you challenge yourself to focus only on self-loving thoughts? Every time you pass or look in a mirror, tell yourself that you love YOU! Can you challenge yourself for a whole week to make this conscious effort? Then can you try it for a whole two weeks, then 30 days? Try it, notice how you feel and what changes for you, then leave your comments below.
Eventually, you will break negative habits and establish new habits in your subconscious. Soon it will feel so icky and negative to ever look into the mirror again and criticize yourself that you will cease to do it. It just won’t come naturally to you anymore. You will cease to do it for no other reason than you made the conscious choice to feel good and love yourself! When you are feeling good because you CHOOSE to feel good, you take back your power over your own health and life experience.
Find every opportunity to love your strong, beautiful, healthy body TODAY!
Make the commitment today that you’re going to focus on loving and accepting yourself exactly where you are, and as you are, and let that be enough. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve to be happy, healthy, and whole and that you love yourself unconditionally. If telling yourself this feels uncomfortable at first, that’s a good thing! Breaking through your comfort threshold means your entering into a new uncharted territory (your ego will hate this). This is where real change takes place.
Please post your thoughts and comments below, I’d LOVE to hear from you! 🙂
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