What is your baseline?
Think of your baseline as your go-to-default state. When your mind and thoughts are left unchecked, where do you find yourself?
It’s sometimes difficult to look at our own thoughts and beliefs objectively. Largely because our belief systems of how we experience or perceive people, circumstance, surroundings or events in our life are largely formed when we are in our early development years. We don’t think about these beliefs mainly because many of them are subconscious and just seem to be part of us. ‘That’s just me’ or ‘that’s just how things are’ as we justify it and deflect another opportunity for growth.
While I do believe we all have our own unique composition of the five elements from birth that may predispose us to certain attitudes, personalty or body types, our worldly views are nurtured and formed largely when we are very young.
What is my baseline? I’ve asked myself this same question and meditated on it.
I realized my early upbringing was overshadowed with struggle, instability and worry. Growing up I did not embody a strong sense of ease, nurture or support. Eager to protect and afraid to show weakness my ego compensated and I grew up clinging to an identity that viewed the Universe through a very competitive and defensive lens. I grew up striving for a sense of stability with a strong need to control, overcome obstacles or win. I had to win or ‘one-up’ others, get my cut, my piece of the pie in order to stay ahead. Giving myself a false sense of security.
Looking back on my 20’s and early 30’s I notice now I operated with this subconscious belief that life was not easy and it kept me flowing in and out of states of struggle and instability. I would experience success, but just enough to taste it before I found myself mentally preoccupied with worrying about losing it or how to hold on and keep it. Rather than simply celebrating my success and incorporating it into my daily life I stiffened it. If I saved a big work deal from falling out it felt foreign to me, as if I didn’t do it. I’d think, “whew I’m glad somehow I pulled that off, now I need to save every penny cause that may never happen again!” Worry and anxiety kept me circling back to a baseline of uncertainty despite my positive visualizations, hard work and goal setting initially paying off!
“The most important question a person can ask is, “Is the Universe a friendly place?”– Albert Einstein
In addition to releasing any negative subconscious belief patterns I’ve picked up along the way, in my mid 30’s I’ve come to realize my baselinefor true joyfulness can not be one that continuously separates me from others. I no longer view others as if they are an opponent on the opposite end of life’s tennis court. Today I view others as my doubles partner, both playing for the fun of the game.
Today trust and faith has replaced worry. Trust that every struggle I have had up to this point (and will have) only strengthens me and faith that the Universe is always conspiring for my best interest. Every once in awhile this blind faith is scary to trust so indefinitely, and that’s my reminder I’m on the right track.