I notice I often find myself drawn to writing, drawing or painting when I feel a little too much weight on my shoulders or just need to unwind and relax a bit. Unlike my yoga practice where I actively avoid any mind-wandering, when I’m painting and in my heightened state of creativeness, my mind is racing! It’s like the opposite of writers block. I attempted a furniture refurbishing project last weekend that allowed me this therapeutic outlet. As I painted away changing the look, feel and texture with each brush stroke I began to contemplate my own personal change and transformation.
Positive change and developing a deeper sense of self has taken center stage in my life. With my basic needs being met and my professional life on track I now feel pulled in a different direction than what I’ve come to know. My priorities have evolved. When I look back at my twenty something years it’s easy to see just how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned. My habits, thoughts, outlook, diet, respect for my body, surroundings, lifestyle have all evolved. As I reflected I realized the only changes in my life that made any real impact and altered my path occurred when I was willing to make a decision and put things into motion at the drop of dime. I’ve always been a dreamer, thinker and believer of possibilities…BUT all that aside when I look back I realize the moments that changed by course forever were the ones that I acted on fairly quickly and without much hesitation.
I’m grateful to recognize now from a fairly young age that life happens when we just dive in, the best things sometimes are not perfectly planned out and that it’s what we really do that counts! Not what we dream about, talk about, think about, plan or hope for but physically what we put into motion! Sometimes my analytic side wants to do to a dry run in my head a million times over, dissecting, scrutinizing, anticipating outcomes, building expectations all in an attempt to get the perfect outcome before I ever even start! This has held me back in the past. This is not to say a little planning, research or pros vs. cons analysis is not in order, but at the end of the day it either feels right and aligns with me or it doesn’t. Now I find embracing what feels right regardless of the potential outcome empowers me to consider a situation and then either move on completely or just do it!
My biggest acceptance to get me to this point was that I am an active participant and driving force in my story and how it unfolds. I actually have a role in this crazy existence of mine. I am the director of my own play. I understand that my inaction or lost opportunities will have more significance on my future then the endless pursuit of that perfect outcome. Most importantly my biggest lesson the last few years is that trying something AND possibly failing at it is not only okay with me but may be a blessing in disguise. I look forward to the lessons, how they may shift my course ever so slightly and look forward to getting it right the next time.